What does a sub want to hear when first talking to a potential new Dom?

In one word the TRUTH!

Trust is a key component in any relationship, even more so in BDSM. The only way to gain trust is to be honest. Honest about who you are, what you are seeking. Be open, tell her about your experience, what you know and be honest about what you don’t. In this lifestyle, someone pretending he knows more then he actually does can hurt someone and even a novice is aware of this.

For her to trust she must feel safe with the idea of you being in control, that you are sane and will respect her limits. It is also important that she trust that you know your limits, that you will not do anything that either one of you is not ready for. She also needs to know how you learned what you know and what you are doing to learn more.

You also need to ask what she is looking for in BDSM. There are many facets in this lifestyle and everyone has his or her own expectations. You need to see what you have in common and what doesn’t gel, it does no good to try to hook up with someone that does not share your interests or desires and we all know this. So be honest about what you looking for, and ask her what she is seeking, see what is compatible, let her know how you see it working and be honest if you see that it won’t. She may know someone that has been looking for the same thing as you. Do not claim to be anything but who you really are and to be looking for anything but what you really want.

So what do you need to say to a potential new playmate?

1. This is who I am.
2. This is what I know.
3. This is what I seek.
4. This is where I hope to go.

 Be open and honest and find some one that is moving in the same direction.

Don’t forget, SAFE, SANE and CONSENTUAL.

This educational message was brought to you by the editors of MyPrivateJourney.com :-)